Monday 23 Nov 2015. The day before departure.

Welcome to my fifth blog. Probably doing this more for my own sake than for any kind interest my friends might show. It's a good way of saving my photos and memories of sunny days to read later when I'm snowed in or down with a cold.
Anyway, today the packing is mostly done and am about to checkin online.  Sandra has booked a taxi for 8.30am so I will need to be up by 6.30am as I must have a good 2 hours for last minute faffing.  Last year my water bottle leaked in my hand luggage and I spent ages drying my spare knickers out under hand dryers in the Ladies at Heathrow and the time before that the handle of my case snapped off as I was carrying it downstairs as the taxi arrived. Hoping for better luck this year.
Woohoo, excited now

Tuesday 24th Nov. Off we go.

Didn't get much sleep, going over and over in my mind what I packed etc. so at 6.15am I got up.  Plenty of time to faff before Sandra and the taxi arrived at 9 ish. In the event, they arrived at 9.50 am. The driver couldn't understand why I was annoyed.  He said he had a fare waiting at Heathrow whose flight had landed and he hadn't even set off yet!  Sandra was white with worry and I was red with excess cortisol, in spite of the fact that we had both fake tanned the night before.  Anyway we arrived in time to do a bit of shopping and that was our main concern, as neither of us had any perfume.

Easy boarding with a tray of champagne waiting at the top of the steps, though sadly only for those turning left.  Here is Sandra at take off.  " Don't talk to me" she said. So I didn't.  I just gazed mesmerised at the hairstyle of the passenger across the aisle.

The drinks trolley arrived and we did not have a pre lunch drink.  I will just repeat that, we did NOT have a pre lunch drink. However I did accept a little bottle of red wine with my lunch but it had obviously been in the fridge and so was not chambréd.  Sandra offered to sit on it for a bit and though it was kindly meant, I declined. Lots of films though nothing very up to date so I mooched down to the back of the plane where there were rows of 4 empty seats, whipped up the arms, covered myself with a blanket and went unconscious for three and a half hours. Lovely. Only a couple more hours to go and tea before that!

Well here we are at Miami airport. Lots of finger print and photo taking and three security posts to get through. Now waiting for our shuttle to the Intercontinental Hotel. It's 6.40 pm here and 23 degrees but feels hotter. Sandra found out that the woman with the multicoloured hair is on our cruise so may get a few tips on beautification. 

Checked in now.  Big room, big beds, big bathroom and ice cold air con.  At the bar now for a recommended Mexican beer which is quite dark and more like bitter.

Just asked the barman for the menu and it's like an iPad. It lights up when you open it!  I love America.

I have ordered an El Cubano and skinny fries. No idea what it is. Will let you know tomorrow. 

Wednesday 25th Nov. Ship ahoy

The El Cubano turned out to be a ham, pork and cheese baguette  😬. After a quick peep at the pool, we went to bed as by our body clock time it was nearly 3am. This morning we are having coffee round the pool while we wait for the shuttle to Fort Lauderdale to board the Island Princess.

 We need the coffee to recover from the earlier panic when Sandra could not find her passport. To say we were panicking was an understatement.  Sandra had returned to her white face status while we looked everywhere, at least three times!  Went down to reception, the bar, the pool but no luck then Sandra remembered she had heard something drop behind the sideboard thingy last night.  We squinted sideways and saw it but the sideboard wouldn't budge. So we removed the fridge from its housing and reached in through the gap at the back.  Sandra then changed her trousers and we left.

We have been told that the cost of wifi on the ship is eye watering, so I will write the blog each night but may not get round to publishing till we go ashore the next day and find a cafe etc with wifi. See you later!

Just had a little walk down to Walmart supermarket.  Here are my thoughts. No one walks. Most of the buildings were either eateries or banks  so as there was no one on the street, I went into the eateries to get directions. Had to ask several times and no one spoke English as the first language, so after a while I just asked in Spanish which was a bonus for me.  Liked this road sign though. 

Bit of a wait to board the ship as there was a US customs inspection in progress but once the queue started moving the embarkation was pretty quick. Jerry, the embarkation clerk, wished us Happy Thanksgiving (tomorrow) and Happy Holidays ( 25th December) 😁 Our cabin is very comfortable and the balcony is great for sitting and watching the sea go by.  Got to say it was a bit blowy and therefore choppy but still warm. After a buffet lunch, we explored and tried to locate the areas of interest to us Ie the pools, spa, gym, theatre, outdoor cinema, our allotted restaurant and shops.  Sorted, unless we get our fore/aft, starboard/ port, odd number side/even number side mixed up which is highly likely on a ship of this size. Our cabin is aft, starboard, odd number on Aloha deck. There was a Life Boat Drill shortly afterwards so we mustered on deck 7 at the Bayou Cafe, carrying our life jackets.  We were shown very clearly how to put them on so I have no idea how I managed to put mine on back to front. Sandra insisted on recreating my moment of shame in the cabin afterwards and photographing it

After unpacking we went for a preprandial cocktail, which was so nice we had another followed by a glass of wine with our dinner. We bumped into Alan, travelling on his own, who had collared us at the hotel in Miami. Do you know what?  Alan knows everything about everything, cruising and otherwise so we were pleased to see him again😬. Apparently he suggested that we make up a quiz team and I agreed though I have no recollection of that, so we are now dodging him.  Finding our way back to the cabin was a bit of a struggle but we did find it eventually and collapsed into bed.

Thursday 26th Nov. All at sea

We have 2 days at sea now as we sail through the Atlantic and into the Caribbean Sea passing first by Cuba. It's still very blowy on deck with sunshine and clouds but warm. We had breakfast from the buffet so we could have it outdoors on deck. So much choice but we are determined not to overdo it just because it's there.  Can't say the same for a lot of the other passengers, most of whom are American.  There really are an awful lot of very big people on board and I am concerned that if they all sit on the same side of the ship, it wil tip over.  You can eat literally non stop and we were amazed to see people queuing up for the restaurant to open to get their dinner at 5pm, after breakfast, lunch, tea and snacks.

There was a presentation in the theatre about our first two stops, the island of Aruba and Cartagena on the coast of Columbia. More about them when we have visited them. Am just loafing round the pool now but think I may move on as American football has just come on the big screen over the pool and as in UK, men are jumping up from their sun beds to whoop and cheer. It's on the Fox channel and you get 10 minutes of the game followed by 5 minutes of adverts. 

Sandra has gone to a ladies' pampering session in the beauty salon. When she gets back, she says that it was not so much pampering as trying to sell her expensive cosmetics which she resisted.  Resistance was continued at lunch but we gave in later on to tea and a scone on the balcony of our cabin.

 I had intended to go to the gym in the afternoon but had a sleep instead.  Well I didn't want to overdo the exercise either and we must have walked miles on this ship so far.

Posh frocks for dinner in the Bordeaux restaurant after the compulsory cocktail in Calypso Cove.

The head waiter led us to our table and we think he was either on speed or a complete nutter. He almost danced to the table singing, "Dressed to impress". In view of the fact it was Thanksgiving Day we had expected something special and although the menu was lovely, the restaurant just had a garland at the entrance.  Think we were expecting a marching band with cheerleaders.

Off to the theatre to see a vocal impressionist. I won't bore you with the details but he looked like a cross between Liberace and David Brent. Sandra declared him to be gruesome. But we were trapped so had to sit it out, cringeing. That said, the ladies behind us loved him, "Yeah, right on, come on baby." Should have a Specsavers on board.

Went on to the Explorers Bar and had a great dance to a band. There were some fantastic Afro American couples dancing. And so to bed with a nice cup of tea, resisting the cakes, sandwiches, cookies etc on offer.

Friday 27th Nov. Land Ahoy

We had thought we would do the Zumba class on deck this morning but failed to get out of bed in time.  We did make it to the theatre to see a presentation on The Panama Canal which was interesting but also very funny as the presenter a professional travel writer. Just a few facts I remember. It was planned and started by De Lesseps who also built the Suez Canal. The dirt removed would go 4 times round the Earth but there again the number of Big Macs sold would go round 6 times. There are locks at the Caribbean side and more on the Pacific side of the isthmus. There are 3 chambers which raise or lower the ships. With extra big ships there is sometimes only 12 inches on either side. The ships are held in place by machines called mules. After the Lock there is a lake called Gatun. The ships go round the lake which is good to know as we thought the ship might have to reverse back out as we are not going through to the other side.  And finally, it is costing this ship 240000 dollars to pass through!  The presenter told us about the top ten questions he has been asked about the Canal.  How high will the ship be out of the water when we are in the locks?  The answer was - the ship will not leave the water at any time of the transit. Will I see monkeys in trees from my cabin?  Answer - not unless you have transferred to another cruise through the jungle. Question -if I catch a fish in the Canal will be it fresh water or salt water?  Answer - does it matter, it will be a dead fish.

On the the Atrium to watch a Martini making class. Actually it was like a show. 3 bar stewards gave demonstrations of flairing ( juggling bottles, cocktail shakers and glasses ) -brilliant. One steward looked amazingly like a dark coloured Brad Pitt.  Another steward prepared and poured out 10 cocktails simultaneously. 

Me being silly, but not had a cocktail, at this point

The Steward doing it properly

Sunny and hot today so we found a quiet spot at the pointed end of the ship with padded sun beds.  Sandra and I like to re enact famous films or songs so I posed for "Walk like an Egyptian". Actually I wanted to portray Titanic, but the Captain came out and told me to get off the railings.  Memo to self - should have gone to Zumba this morning.

We have just watched a Mr Sexy Legs competition round the pool, ( Didn't it used to be Knobbly Knees?). 6 men volunteered and they all had names like Chuck, Woody and ..... Bronco.  No lie.

Panicked when these two women sat down together on the edge of the pool.

Back to the cabin for relaxation and an early shower etc. Tonight it is the Captain's champagne reception and best frocks must be worn. 

Well here we are, having a cocktail before the champagne, well we are on our holidays. 

The reception was just a case of the Captain introducing the senior members of the crew, so who was steering the ship then?  In the restaurant, we met a really nice couple who were from Durham, moved to Yeovil but currently living in Trinidad as he was a search and rescue helicopter pilot.  We also had blueberry mojito ice as a palate cleanser between courses.  Oooh get us!  The show was better than last night, singing and dancing.  Early night as we arrive in Aruba at 7am but sail again at 12noon so only time for a short shore visit but will be glad to be on dry land for a bit.

Saturday 28th Nov. Aruba

Aruba is a small island with not much on it except a lighthouse, a natural rock bridge, an ostrich farm and lots and lots of jewellery stores, diamonds, emeralds seem to be the main choice.  As we were not in the market for these we decided on a walk through the town. I was getting fed up of Sandra looking me up and down and saying Avast behind.  It's a very pretty little harbour and our ship dwarfs it.

There is a little market and one shopping street and not much else. The architecture harks back to Dutch Colonial times with palm trees of course and it is extremely HOT.

Saw this pelican chilling on the dock

Off now to try to find  a cafe with wifi.

Bags and hats bought,Facebook checked, blog posted and beer drunk. Now back on board now and the Captain has made his lunchtime broadcast.  By the way, the Captain and most of the officers are English which I find odd on an American cruise liner but quite reassuring, playing fields of Eton, stiff upper lip, cucumber sandwiches and all that.  The trade winds are blowing at 30 knots. But this is normal for Aruba, resulting in most of the palm trees being bent. So the Island Princess will need all three engines to sail out. It's 360 miles to our next port of call, Cartagena in Colombia and we will be sailing by the coast of Venezuela this evening and arriving at 9am tomorrow. It will be 27 degrees tomorrow.  And the wind has dropped completely now we are out at sea and it must be that temperature here too.

Information talk on Costa Rica, lunch and a well deserved rest in the sun. The Sound of Music was playing at the open air cinema and we sang along with all the tunes. I then felt moved to do a re enactment of the title song. I think you can see a resemblance to Julie Andrews on top of the hill

In the evening to show was a ventriloquist with a Jamaican doll. He was actually quite funny but not PC at all, wouldn't have got away with some of the things he said about Jamaica in UK but no one seemed to take offence. Oh no, more cocktails

 After dinner we stationed ourselves on the Lido deck for the Love Boat Party which didn't happen due to an earlier shower. We didn't even know it had been raining so we're a tad disappointed. So this was an ideal opportunity to crack open the gin Sandra had smuggled aboard in. Listerine bottle. We have been cruising before.

Sunday 29th Nov. Cartagena

We sailed into Cartagena and from our cabin we saw this

And then we saw this

The skyline is very modern with white skyscrapers on the other side of the docks. We opened the patio door of our cabin and the heat hit us at 8.15 am. We were told it would be hot and we would need sunscreen and mosquito repellent as well as comfortable shoes and a hat. Check. Down the gangway where ladies in traditional costume were waiting with baskets of fruit on their heads, no not to sell but to be photographed with.  On to a coach with our guide, Sergio, a Bill Cosby lookalike both in appearance and humour. We set off for the mangroves with a short stop at a fortress.  

It was built by the Spanish Conquistadores to defend the colony against the French and English. Built by African slaves over a period of 140 years, it is massive and has 42 kilometres of  tunnels underneath. At some point Sir Francis Drake came to have a pop at It with 24000 men but was driven back by only 3000, led by a local hero with only one arm, one leg and one eye. We were impressed that he didn't fall over let alone beat Sir Francis Drake.  Colombians from the Caribbean region see themselves as completely different from those in mountain areas like the capital Bogotá. Sergio explained that in Colombia, there are pure whites, mestizos ( White Spanish and indigenous)), mulattos (white Spanish and African) sambo (African and indigenous) pure indigenous and pure black., I think.  But wait, they are classified even more. Every year a Government official come see to your house and asks all about your income, family, savings, house etc. Then you are given a class number from 1to 5.  1 and 2 are working class, 3 and 4 are middle class and 5 is rich. This number goes on your ID card. One of the major outcomes is that if you need medical treatment, your contribution to the government health scheme varies. Number 1s pay nothing, number 2s pay 10% and so on.  Number 5s pay half. You cannot retire unless you have worked for a certain length of time in your life and paid in a percentage of your salary.  If you haven't, it's tough because there is no other welfare system. Our guide said, You work or you lie down in the street and die. There were lots of young men buzzing up and down on mopeds carrying spare helmets. They give rides for payment and we saw a lot of people on the back with shopping bags.

We arrived at the canoe place where we were advised that it was 4 people per canoe. I sat behind a massive man with a goatee and a scarf over his head covered in skulls.  

Every time I tried to lean to one side to look ahead to take a photo, the punter said, Sit in middle!  We sailed across the river and into a canal in the mangroves. There are 4 sorts of mangrove, red, brown, white and black.  I asked the punter what colour these were and they were red but the all looked grey brown.

The mangrove is tidal and the water level goes up quite a lot. Someone spotted a creature a bit like a raccoon but I missed what the punter said it was.  Lots of birds though, egrets, herons and others I didn't recognise.  Sergio said one was a diving duck???

Lots of tiny fish and big ones jumping out.  But my favourite was the Holy Dog of Cartagena which we were lucky to see as he was out for a walk on the water.

A fisherman was parked out on the river and we all gathered round to see a demonstration of how he caught snappers. He didn't catch anything so he whipped a couple of sardines out of his canoe and said these were some he had caught earlier. Fisherman always lie about catching fish, don't they?  He also showed us some fiddly little crabs he had caught in cages.

Back to land for a demonstration of local music which sounded very African and dancing which was a bit Spanish looking. Free coconut water to drink from the shell.  Very nice.

On then to the old town for a comfort break and shopping. The shops were for tourists and housed in the old dungeons, one shop per dungeon.  There were emeralds of all sizes for sale alongside the usual tourist tat. The lady assistant told Sandra she would give her a good deal for 50 dollars but Sandra wasn't tempted, more a diamond girl. 

 So then a walk through the Casco Antiguo, the old town, surrounded by high walls in pretty good condition dating from the 16 century.  There were some lovely houses, colonial Spanish style with many balconies covered in flowers. Sergio told us that Cartagena is the most beautiful city in the world and recorded at length the cost of these houses.  He said one was worth 6 million dollars. Methinks he was exaggerating a bit. 

 We arrived in Bolivar Square which was lovely with a statue of Bolivar in the middle. Couldn't hear what Sergio was saying about him because of a group of young man who set up a ghetto blaster and started doing breakdancing before coming round with a hat.  I did hear him say that the square was surrounded by the Cathedral, the emerald museum, the gold museum and the House of Inquisitions.  Well, we weren't expecting the Spanish Inquisition! 

 On to San Pedro Claver Square with some interesting iron sculptures.  Named after Pedro Claver, a Spanish monk who allegedly converted some 65000 Africans to Christianity in 1622 ???

We are melting by this time in 80 odd degree heat with 90% humidity. So it was nice to get back in the air conditioned bus though we had to navigate a path through dozens of street sellers of coffee, necklaces, sunglasses, tablecloths, tee shirts, cigars and assorted tat. 

Sergio asked repeatedly if we had enjoyed the tour, was it worth it, had he been a good guide, did we appreciate the coach and driver.  We wondered whether there was a subtext?

Back onboard, lunch and bag a prime sunbathing spot for the afternoon.

And today's re enactment is Sandra's choice, the ever popular film. Hairspray

Dinner served by a lovely girl, Gaby, from Peru and then on to Explorers Bar for Panama Carnival with a band playing salsa music. Fantastic couple dancing salsa.

After that there was the third round of a talent show, don't ask. 

Entering the Panama Canal tomorrow at 7.15am. So must be up in time.

Monday 30th Nov. The Panama Canal

I am up and running by 7am as are most of the other passengers.  All the balconies are full of lock spotters.  It's hot already and there are lots of little tugs and pilot boats buzzing up and down around us.  This is a photo of the construction of the new bridge over the inlet.  Apparently the lake after the locks was once a fast flowing fiver which was dammed to create Gatún Lake

  

There is a very interesting commentary on our progress through the canal on the ship's intercom but too much info to tell you. Look back to my blog on Thursday or Friday for a few facts. On deck now as we approach the locks. We get raised 85 feet in a series of 3 chambers. Oil tankers cannot fit into the chambers  because of their length but there are lots of container ships waiting in the lake. There is also a width restriction, the Panamax, After the locks we arrive in Gatún Lake some 2 miles away.  Wow I can't see how a ship of this size will fit in the chamber, although they are 1000 ft long. Photo taken through tinted glass so looks a bit dark. The container ship directly ahead in the right hand side of the transit is already in the third chamber. 

The gates are opening now. They weigh 700 tons and have 8 million rivets.  In the mornings, both 

chambers only allow southbound traffic but later in the day, two way traffic is allowed. The gates have opened and the ship is gliding slowly into the chamber. We are hooked up to 8 mules, two at the front and two at the back. These are stubby electric locomotives on rails running along each side which are not dragging us, just bracing the ship to stop it bumping against the sides of the chamber which are VERY close, the info just said 2 feet at either side .  The mules will travel with us into the next two chambers at 2.8 knots, in 1992 one of the mules was pulled into the water by the ship. It had a woman driver - the info man just had to say that, didn't he?   

I am now watching as the ship leaves the third chamber and it has taken two and a half hours to complete the climb of 85 feet. 

I took this photo from the highest deck 16 but it was impossible to get to the very back.  On the deck below is the spa area where for 40 dollars a day extra,you can escape the hot poloi.

We are now sailing into the lake where we will weigh anchor ( do they still do that?) and be tendered ashore

. It seems that most passengers are going on shore excursions today and this will take some time to ferry us all ashore.  Hoping to find a wifi cafe to post the last couple of days of my blog.

We have been tendered ashore and I must say it was a really well executed procedure getting 2500 of us on to dry land. Bit like a school trip with stickers on our chests only much bigger.  On the coach now and setting off foe a scenic drive through the countryside to Panama City where we will have a guided tour of the old town. 

Been on the coach for an hour or so. The scenic drive turned out to be the main highway from the Atlantic side to the Pacific side. But we did see the excavations for the new canal which will allow more and bigger ships to pass through

The guide is not overly interesting. Again, obsessed with house prices. There is not an awful lot to see but he did promise us a big surprise.  This turned out to be a subway sandwich and a bottle of warm water but better than nothing.  The coach has parked up and we are walking through the old town. There are lots of black uniformed police with sub machine guns s the Presidents Palace is nearby. The old town was built colonial style in 1680 and is a UNESCO site.  We walked to the main square. Plaza de la Independencia.

The cathedral is moderately interesting but not much else. Many of the buildings are just a facade and crumbling and deserted and it is EXTREMELY hot. And the toilets have no paper or soap though they are clean and not smelly. We walk on in a heat haze and I am rapidly losing interest. We go past a crumbling arch and I'm not sure whether the decision to build the canal was taken here as they felt that it was a safe earthquake free because the arch was still standing.  Does that make sense?

We wander on a bit more and stop for shopping which turns out to be more stalls selling local handicrafts and very expensive drinks. We wander off and look at the two faces of Panama. The new

       And the old. This building was on the Main Street.

We are not particularly impressed. The best thing was that we are with a party of 38 Americans, moaning about the restrooms, the walking, the lack of burger stops etc. But as we walked down the decrepit narrow streets, they certainly looked after each other. When there was a hole in the pavement we all had to pass it on to the ones behind and when a car came from behind, we had to call " Car" to those in front. But I may be being unfair.  On the way back to the coach we walked through a lovely square with cafe tables outside under the tree and beautiful buildings. This begs the question why did the guide not take us here?  As we approached the coach, we noticed dozens of vultures planing over the sea.  Some of the coffin dodgers in our party looked distinctly afraid.

Tuesday 1st Dec. Limón

Well the day started badly. I have 4 large mosquito bites from the last stop in Panama Old Town. We had driven through the the new city which is spectacular I have to admit. Reynaldo, the hopeless guide, insisted we had one last look at the ruins of the first city on that site, of which there were just a few walls and a clock tower. The ruin is in the background, not Sandra of course, though how she managed a smile I don't know as we were both exhausted by that time. But what there was a lot of, was mosquitos and you could see them flying up from the grass as we walked over it.

As I said, the guide was useless, he had 41 of us queuing up in 81 degrees for one toilet. I wanted to punch him but Sandra, ever soft hearted gave him a tip and said thank you. Then I wanted to punch her.

Anyway we had learned yesterday that our trip to the Sloth Sanctuary in Costa Rica had been cancelled and the shore excursion office was closed so we had to choose another excursion and leave the filled in booking form in a box on the desk. We chose a river ride and visit to a banana plantation.  There were 2 times offered, 7.15am, ridiculously early!  And 12.15pm, ideal!  When the tickets arrived in our cabin, we were booked on the earlier one and again the excursions office was closed. We both wanted to punch the excursions officer.  So we had an early night and ordered breakfast in our cabin to save time. Right well we are up to today now and the ship was delayed docking. Look at the ship's hull at the bottom.  Oops, who's a clumsy helmsman?

So nearly an hour later we climbed aboard the coach, set off and bang, there he was in a tree, a sloth. Got my camera out and the battery was dead. I wanted to punch myself. Not only that but I have only brought one part of the charger, so no photos today or for the rest of the cruise.  Punch, punch. Will have to use phone or iPad.

The guide, Alonso, was the opposite of Reynaldo, really knowledgeable and funny.  We arrived at the Tortuguero River which means, home of the turtle. Sadly the turtles were on their holidays as they only come here once a year to mate.  The downtown area of Limón is a shanty town. All low buildings as the earthquake of 1991. 7.5 on the Richter scale, destroyed most of the tall buildings yet miraculously there was only one fatality. Limón is not named after lemons but the local rock is limestone.

We arrived at the river and boarded a low boat with a canopy to protect us from the sun which by this time, 9.15am, was scorchio.  First thing we saw was another sloth high up in the canopy, in his typical hanging upside down pose. Alonso then gave us chapter and verse about sloths.  This is just some I remembered.  The name in Spanish is perezoso, lazy one, and there are two types, two toed and three toed on the hands only as both types have three toes on the feet.  The three toed has long arms and short legs and is ungainly at walking but good at swimming.  The two toed has arms and legs of similar length, good walker and poor swimmer, bearing in mind neither of them move about much anyway. Indeed they stay in the tree until they need to defaecate, when for some reason they descend but that's only once every three weeks or so. The three toed has algae in its fur and the two toed doesn't but I can't remember why.  It rains every night in the rainforest and the sloths can get wet and cold. When the sun comes out, they need to warm up or they may starve to death even though they have a full stomach. This is because their digestive system is very slow and they need the heat to get the digestive hormones working, I think that's what Alonso said. 

We also saw a large cayman in the water.  Apparently there are crocodiles too, up to 5 or 6 metres long, but no alligators. Sometimes a crocodile will find a swimmer and pull him under the water to drown him. However a croc often finds the human body too hard to bite, so it leaves it in the water to rot before trying again.  We saw a large green iguana  basking in a tree about a 100 feet up.  They call it the chicken of the trees.  The boat driver pulled into the shore, got off and came back with a tiny frog on a leaf, maybe an inch long, bright red with black dots.

 Can't remember it's name but the indigenous people used to collect the frogs and boil them up in a pan and dip their darts into the liquid as their skin gives off a deadly poison. No one wanted to pet it.  What else?  A couple of howler monkeys which were dark brown with a redder bit on their back. Alonso said he could tell it was a male because it had a long white scrotum but again I forget what the significance of that was.  There are also capuchin and spider monkeys in the rainforest but we didn't spot any of those.  We saw a green lizard with a big ruff round its neck, a Jesus Christ lizard, so called because it looks as if it runs across the surface of the water, and blue butterflies. Oh yes and three more sloths so I am very happy.  We saw lots of birds, kingfishers, a tiger heron which is grey but the juveniles are striped like a tiger, a blue heron, snow egrets, a large flock of parakeets, toucans and lots of little swallows darted backwards and forwards near the boat, picking off the mosquitoes which were attracted by our smell. But today I was ready for them, the little beggars.

Alonso said there were over 900 species of fish in the river and surrounding waterways, both salt water and fresh water as the mangrove swamp floods with sea water for 12 hours everyday. There were water hyacinth floating everywhere and beautiful white spider lillies. He rattled off the names of trees like mangroves, golden coconut, eucalyptus, raffia palm, bloodwood, balsa wood tree etc etc. as well as banana, more of which later. 

An interesting mangrove tree with huge aerial roots.

After an hour and a half on the river we returned to the jetty. Sandra and I were at the back of the boat, so last off. There were big people, old people, people with walking sticks etc struggling but when Sandra started to get off, the driver got a stool for her to descend on to.  We don't know why.

Slices of fresh pineapple and a glass of the local beer, Aguila, were very welcome. I was so happy I had seen sloths that I bought a teeshirt with a sloth face on it and Costa Rica's motto. Pura Vida -pure/natural life. I also like the idea of live slow.

On to the banana plantation owned by Del Monte.  A surprisingly small factory. There are 150 varieties of banana and none is indigenous to Costa Rica so the local monkeys don't eat them.  They were brought from Asia by the Chinese railroad workers who planted them by the railroads for food. A plant takes 9 months from a shoot sprouting to produce a bunch of bananas. It doesn't produce anymore but sends up new shoots and the process begins again. The flower comes first and attached to that are tiny rows of female bananas, rows of hermaphrodite bananas and male bananas. The male bananas only contain pollen so they are cut off as being useless.  I'm saying nothing.  As the other bananas grow into a bunch, they are covered in perforated blue plastic bags for 2 purposes.  1. To heat them up and kill off scorpions, spiders and snakes and 2. to stop them falling to the ground as the bunches grow to over a metre long and can contain over a hundred bananas.

They are cut down green, sprayed with hose pipes to get rid of insects and we saw a big spider come out, cut into hands and dunked in water to cool and clean them. Women wash and sort the hands and they are packed into boxes and load onto refrigerated container lorries.  The whole process takes maybe 10  - 15 minutes.

Back on the coach and Alonso passes round samples of coffee bean branches, red flowers which are used to make the food dye annatto (?), a cocoa bean pod and finally a bunch of mini bananas which we all scoff and declare delicious.  Half way down the coach he says these are only for looking at, not eating.  Just joking, I hope!

Sandra decides to re enact that favourite old song "Yes, we have no bananas!"

He gives us a few details about life in Costa Rica.  People are categorised as in Panama. The army was disbanded, can't remember when, so there is no military. The people decided that if they didn't need to buy uniforms for the military they would buy them for their children. So all children must go to school, it's free, and they all have a free uniform.  And Christpher Columbus came here in 1502 but didn't find any gold.

I absolutely loved today. Completely made up for yesterday, though I am still going to punch the cruise director when I see him.

A couple of hours relaxing on the super padded sun beds and the Island Princess sails away into the sunset for Jamaica. We have a day at sea tomorrow and no doubt Sandra and I will definitely be going to the gym without fail. After all, we have brought our exercise clothes and trainers with us and it would be silly to bring them half way round the globe and not use them, wouldn't it?

Tonight the Love Boat Disco under the stars is happening. Can we keep awake?

At the disco.  Hello sailor!

Just got back from the disco but first I've got to say that the Head Waiter, Moises from Portugal, turns out to be a really nice man. We have a chat with him every evening and he is married to an English girl from Swadlingcote(?).  He is hilarious and dances all the time. Lovely dinner so we decide to round it off with a bit of dancing at the disco under the stars. Great fun, - Up Town Funk, Blame it on the Boogie, Satisfaction etc. Thought we would take a cup of tea to bed so down to the buffet. There I am, making my tea when a deep American voice behind me says "Tea, huh?"  "Yes," I say, "I'm English," (what a dopey thing to say). "Hey, Danny, get over here.  This lady is English and having tea,"  he announces as if I'd been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Danny ambles over.  "Really?"  he says, clearly impressed. "Nice dress," says he, leaning in. "Thanks" , says I and scuttles off.  Sandra is laughing like a drain.